smaller things…

So when one really stops and takes a look around you begin to not only see the inside of you.  You also begin seeing the hand of God in everything around you.  I know we are all part of cosmic dust, and just randomly got smashed together, then by pure luck we oozed out of the muck and mire to form a creature that walked onto land to form over thousands of years to create a monkey/man then become more and more refined…nope I don’t buy that line for a minute.

 Genesis 2:7

Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Genesis 1:27

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
These are just a few verses that tell me that I was created not just randomly thrown together by the universe.
How can one look at the complex and say there is not a higher power, a creator, A GOD!  I mean just look at these
Even when I look at the details I am amazed that God created this all for us to oversee, to caretake as you will, so we can pass on our beauties to the next generation.
Details are something one picks up on, even as a young child I enjoyed watching birds, caterpillars,  even bugs, but by far my favorite was a yellow rose bush that my dad and I tended, it was on the east side of our house and grew upwards of 6 to 7 feet high when it was in full bloom it was breathtakingly beautiful.
See the details when you are out and about, for me there is only one way I got here on this planet, and at this moment in time, God created me.
Gingham Chick

They walk among us…Angels just look to see your Everyday Angel

My story starts with a middle aged woman and her husband going to deliver their third child; it was a chilly Nov. 17th morning that started with us checking into our local hospital as Cole was to be a C-section.

Prepped and ready to deliver, he made his appearance just fine, and we were soon reunited in a room on second floor, family and friends surrounded us, as all wanted to meet Cole.  You see he had been a long time coming as my husband and I struggled to have more children after having our two girls with  3 miscarriages one where I was rushed to the operating room.  But this was to be the answer to our prayers, our little boy, pride and joy of our family but our short lived happiness (less than 12 hours) with Cole was about to take a turn that we would never forget, nor will we forget the ANGELS that God had placed in the path of Cole.


As if orchestrated by a higher hand the night unfolded into a blur of events that at the time we did not see how everything melted together for a single reason, His master plan.


5:30 and the change of doctors on the floor, and my nurse Bobbie (angel #1) thought she heard something in our son’s lungs that did not sound quite right.  So before the switch she asked the previous doctor what he thought, he said it was just probably amniotic fluid, and that it should clear by morning.  But Bobbie was a friend and previous co-worker and that answer did not sit with her.  So she again asked about the noise in the lungs when the switch took place.  This time Dr. Benson (angel #2) asked that she get my permission for an x-ray.  Of course I did sign permission only to have them both come in my room not 15 minutes later, Bobbie (my nurse and friend) held my hand while the doctor told me that this spot (right here as he pointed to x-ray) should not be there.  I feel that Cole may be developing pneumonia and we do not have the care facility to take care of him.  Bobbie will help you fill out the paperwork for the life-flight to Fargo.

My mind raced, not my boy, not now, Oh God why, where is Mark (my husband) he should be here, my parents, I need my parents, not now God…I signed the forms and the order went out.  I looked out the window and held back the tears that were threatening, it was starting to snow.  I hoped and prayed the flight would be ok with the snow.  My friend at the reception desk put the call out for pediatric life flight and had someone cover for her at the desk and rushed upstairs, walked into my room, gave me a hug and said it will be ok, now who can I call for you.  Wendy (angel #3) proceeded to surround me with love by getting my family back in my room; Mark came over by police (angel #4 and 5) escort as he was in at our daughter’s school lock-in for the night.  The police were the only ones who could get in (security reasons) but he came without Carrie (our daughter) and had to go back and get her.  So while he did that we tried to get ahold of my parents who were watching our other daughter Cassie.  But no such luck phone line rang busy…they must be on the internet (dial up) so we called their next door neighbor Dan (angel #6) who was happy to run over and tell them they needed to come back up to the hospital.  Mark’s parents rushed back, so did his sister, and our cousin Nancy, also the call went out to our church and two pastors came up as well as Mark’s parents’ pastors and his wife.  All in all when Cole was packed in the isolate for his flight we had 20 + (angels #7-30) people in the room, we joined hands and prayed for a safe flight and that Cole would be ok.  The life flight nurse even joined in prayer and whispered to me as she left “it will be ok I will look after him tonight.” (angel #31)


Our family and friends left, our parents left with our girls (who looked so sad), and Mark & I were alone with our thoughts not wanting to voice anything for fear we may lose Cole, (I think we both felt the raw gut feeling that something horrible was about to happen) just as we lost the three previous of him.  Mark finally left about 2 am when we knew Cole was resting just fine in Fargo.  The snow continued to fall and I let my tears fall too along with my thoughts of maybe never having another child.

The next morning the roads were not passable to Fargo, so we had to wait to get to Cole, it was a very long day.  Word came from the doctors that they would like to perform some tests so with much paperwork faxed back and forth some tests were started.  Mark left with my dad and his parents Sunday morning for Fargo.  My mom stayed back to watch our girls.  While the girls and my mom came up for a visit, we got the call from Mark, “Cole has a tumor,” he stated into the phone in almost a whisper.  Our world stopped, “A TUMOR,” I repeated back, with the cold realty that this was not going to be easy sinking in.

When I was finally released from the hospital (remember I had surgery) and could make the trip to Fargo, Cole was already 5 days old, and today when he was hooked to even more machines was to be his first surgery…a biopsy to see if the tumor was cancer.  Dr. Bowdie (angel #32) performed the surgery and he told us that he was not even supposed to be in the state as he had a new position in Philadelphia, PA waiting on his arrival.  Yet their home had not sold here yet and he had a few patients that he could not leave yet.   So as our family waited for news that Cole surgery was complete; calls started flooding our answering machine at home.  Every message was from someone that had added Cole to a prayer list or prayer chain by the end of his cancer battle we had over 1,450 churches from MN to AZ and TX and thousands of people praying for him.

The news for Cole’s biopsy came in but it did not come from the lab, it came from a wonderful doctor, who just happened to be going through the lab area while they were getting Cole’s samples packed to ship to New York (3 days of waiting for results).  He took a look at one of the slides and said he needed to speak with us.  His name Dr. Nathan Kobrinsky (angel #33), we would soon find out that he would be Cole’s cancer doctor, his specialty being pediatric cancers.  Cole was diagnosed with stage 3 Neuroblastoma cancer, the tumor was the size of my fist in his small 8 pound body, it has masked itself as part of the lung (so it was never seen on any of my ultrasounds) and pushed his heart down so it fluttered below his rib cage.

Day 7 of life and the start of chemo, the first round hit Cole’s immune system so hard he was put in isolation and for the next 4 days we did not know if Cole would ever have an immune system again.  His counts stayed a 0, but on day 5 his count went to 103 and the next day 3,000 then to over 10,000.  Our little miracle baby was going to pull through the first round of chemo.  (angels came and went over the course of our time in and out of the Roger Maris Cancer Center and Merit Care Hospital now know as Sanford Health that I lost track of how many touched our life because of Cole)

Three more rounds of chemo and one more surgery (Feb. 22, 2001) to remove the remaining part of the tumor that was performed by none other than Dr. Bowdie because his house had not sold yet (it sold two days after Cole’s last surgery).  One week later, Cole was sent home with a clean bill of health.  Today he is a healthy 13 year old full of happiness, and smiles.

(Cole above with our new stud colt Abu – Diamond Rose Ranch on facebook or blog)

He has shown us true courage and love, and how one small child can change your world, as one small child (Jesus Christ) did thousands of years ago.  We are blessed so much, with wonderful everyday angels, and we know God truly answers prayer.  May your 2014 be rich with everyday angels because God is always working in the background you just don’t see the whole picture till you take a step back!  Today I am connected deeper to more families and people that have went through or are in the process of Cancer especially pediatric because our son touched my life.  For more information on neuroblastoma cancer or others cancers.


pingback:  longreads

Containers – photo challenge

Containers, containers, containers, they are all around, every shape and color.  But living containers are a part of our everyday world, that if we did not have, we would not be here long.

Trees – this self contained unit is weather proof (except tornado, hurricanes, and other storms)



These living containers are a life force of our planet converting CO2 to Oxygen for us to breathe.  They are amazing from the bark on the outside to the sap running inside.





Then when the tree dies, it becomes homes for birds, squirrels or other small animals,???????????????????????????????

it also will become a container of insects which in turns feeds birds, IMG_1518dragonflies IMG_0083and more.

fall picture IMG_0879

They come in multiple colors, and textures.

And I for one love that I live where I can see these wonderful containers everyday!

Writing 101, Day Four: The Serial Killer

It is ruthless

It is silent

It knows no boundaries

It is cold and heartless

Silent and steady

Ever growing

Ever changing

Never forgetting

Where it came from

Never knowing if it will end

It is ruthless

It is silent

Sneaking up

and ensnaring

Before you know

Before you think

Before you can even feel

It is ruthless

It is silent

Morphing into something

Foreign and cold



It is ruthless

It is silent


pingback : writing 101 day 4

Three Important Songs Writing 101 day three

Wow, how to pick just three – I know my first one is “THE ROSE” this was a song at my wedding 27 years ago this coming July and it holds a special place in my heart and the heart of my husband as it was our song that we both liked when going through music for our wedding.

My number two choice would have to be “AMAZING GRACE” I have loved this song since I was a little girl in parochial school, it was a favorite of both of my grandmothers too, and it always reminds me of their love for me and God’s amazing love for all of us here on earth.  Favorite line “my chains are gone, I’ve been set free”  love how this opens my heart when I hear this, like nothing can hold me down here on earth – my eternal home is within reach…

Number three…hmmmmm….hmmmm…..this is so hard there are so many wonderful songs so now how do I pick just one more…well I suppose this is going to have to be a toss up – love this lady and her singing is angelic – but I have to choose just one….not possible so you are getting two for the price of one.  Ms Dolly Parton singing “God’s Coloring Book” and “Coat of Many Colors” and ok so I CAN’T COUNT so get over it – I put on 5 of my favorites so here is #5 you may like another version of this but Dolly just has a way of tugging the heartstrings on this one “I Will Always Love You”  sorry I couldn’t keep it to three but I love so many different songs  and in case you think that I am just way to old because of the songs listed well they never said what era to pick the songs from smile and enjoy your life because I am loving mine :)

My view



My view would be our ranch, big, bold and green, sometimes downright freezing.  You are suppose to find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow when this rainbow appeared over our ranch I knew this was and will forever be home for me.  Need I write how I feel about home, the ranch where my husband and I started dating and now 27 years almost and so many memories have been laid in the corners of my mind at this ranch.  Blessed to raise our children here, the horses we love so much, and we are third generation – with the fourth growing up country too.  So sit back and let these pictures tell the story of my corner of the world – would be the corner I would zoom to in a heartbeat.


fall picture

IMG_1622IMG_1667IMG_1793 IMG_1819 IMG_1826 - CopyIMG_2195IMG_2211IMG_2212IMG_1949???????????????????????????????



For when you count your day as done and this is your view do you need to be anywhere else other than home?